I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
