R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
