sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
