Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The uberlube is also flammable
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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