Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
