so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
