I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
