I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize