Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
