So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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