She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
