He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
