Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize