yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
