I love black thongs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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