Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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