ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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