two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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