I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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