did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
