Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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