when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize