I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
