I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
