Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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