I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
