Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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