It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
