That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
