Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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