shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
