we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
