I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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