I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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