we're blogging at a bar
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
