I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Are we still banned from the library?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize