i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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