So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
