Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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