i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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