i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
stop calling my apartment porn island.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize