Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
