More tranny stories later!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
