and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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