Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
