Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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