we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
