she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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