you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
