The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
As shirtless as possible
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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