it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
