no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
