Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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