but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
