I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
