I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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