And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Randomize
