I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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