Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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