Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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